Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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