Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
