Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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