shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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