I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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