i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
