You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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