u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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