she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
