i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
