yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
