I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
