if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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