I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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