I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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