East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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