Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
