I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Your penis caused this!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
