Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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