what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
