I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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