covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
