Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He's on the porch naked. Help.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
