Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
