she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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