i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
