Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
