I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
wow bdsm is so cute
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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