do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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