He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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