Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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