I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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