He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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