Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
