if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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