I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
