I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we're chasing vodka with high fives
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
