I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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