roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
