She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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