mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
