Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
