Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
