I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
