the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
