Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
