Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
