ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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