Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
