My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
