There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
